I just want to start by thanking all those involved in making this site possible. It has been an ally in what has been an ongoing battle with the realization that this is reality. Marianne, Kris, Kate, and Patrick amongst many others to us out there even the silent ones that cannot bring themselves to add to this site it is a solace. And for that I must always thank you.

Now, I feel I must state again that I am not crazy. I understand that Brad is gone and does not log in to this site regularly. However, this is the one place that I feel like I can still talk to him.And I will never let a resource like that sit idle.

Brad,

Today is a stinger. Tappin my heart and pointing to to the sky. Hoping my internal voice is loud enough for you to hear. Praying the message is received. I hope your rest is sound my friend. I miss your ear. God, if you are there carry me to his side. Guide me by what i was taught. Lead me from his example. For in my friend i found beauty. I may not spell perfect and I may not type to perfection but in my friends presense i felt at home, and i miss that. Hear me Brad wherever you are, your message was received. God send me forth as the champion that has fallen. Let me stand by his example, achieve what he has guided me to.Survive what he has strengthened me for. Most of all god replenish him in my life. I miss his energy. I miss his stamp. Show me that you are able to create one in his likeness, cause i search for him and am dissapointed.

will miss you always my dearest friend

chad

Hey Man,

Memory is a fucked up thing. You are already slipping away. Our time time together has been reduced to a few moments. Shooting blow darts into your neighbors apartment. Eating acid and standing by a highway. Watching juniors dog play in the water on great mushrooms. Yelling bitchass at random yuppies in seattle. These are things that mean nothing to the general populace but to me they are special times and i am losing them. I want to hold onto you and all that you meant to me. Yet you are fading. What have I forgotten? Calling the hobbit shitter at large. Letting you take a punch from some redneck when you clearly deserved it...you loudmouth motherfucker. Sorry homey when you pull a knife on me threaten to kill me and then  proceed to start a fight with a redneck twice your size (i am 165 lbs. at the time) your on your own. I will say i felt bad about your black eye but I also noticed you got alot quieter after that night (a good thing). I need a moment like this to re-calibrate. to re-affix you into my story. Tommorow starts without you, yet yestereday was created with you. I fear that I am not the messenger to convey all that was Brad.

Brad,